Friday, October 15, 2010

Remembering our losses

Good Morning! It's been a while since my last post. Nothing has been happening lately to really write about. We did have an exciting weekend last weekend. My BIL and SIL(the ones that sent us the money for our last fertility treatments) came down to visit. We finally got to meet their little girl, Dakota. She is just a doll. She turned 1 last Sunday, so we got to celebrate her 1st birthday. It was wonderful!! I can't believe a whole year went by before we got to meet her. I miss them so much! I wish they lived closer, but they are military so they don't have much say in where they are stationed.

Today has been an emotional one for me. Today I'm remembering the 3 babies that we have lost over the past year. As you know, we will start the IVF process in January and I hope I don't have to add another loss to the list. I'm just not sure that I could handle that. I'm hoping and praying that IVF is just what we need and will work the first time.  I'm also missing my mom like crazy today. Yesterday was my 29th birthday and I wish she could have been here to celebrate with me. She wanted more than anything for me to have a baby. It breaks my heart that my children will never know her. She is in a much better place, though. I know she is no longer in pain, but that doesn't make it any easier for those of us still here that love & miss her so much. I thought it would start getting easier to deal with, but I think it's getting harder everyday. I have so many different emotions going on that sometimes I don't know what to do. The crazy hormones you have with fertility treatments doesn't help either.

I am praying for all you ladies that are remembering your losses today! I don't know you personally, but you are always on my mind!