RANT!

AHHHHHH!!!!! I just wanna scream!!!! The holidays are stressing me out!!! I love this time of year and the time we get to spend with family but, why can't it just be simple??? Why do people always make Christmas time all about getting a gift?? It drives me crazy!!! I love to buy gifts for everyone but right now times are tough and we are trying to save some money for IVF and we just CAN'T buy every single person a gift!! I don't care if I don't get one single gift; I just want us all to get together and eat and be merry, but it's not always that simple!! Oh well......we'll do what we can and that's going to have to be good enough! IVF is way more important to me than buying a gift that will turn into a dust collector. WHEW! I feel better!! Thanks for listening!! haha!! :)

A Few Updates

I have been such a terrible blogger lately! I haven't had a chance to give any updates. So, here it goes:

*Surgery went good! He removed some mild Endo and my right tube is blocked! He says he doesn't understand why it's blocked, but it is...oh well. My uterus looks good, nothing crazy looking in there!! Woo-Hoo!! He did a D&C as well. He did say that I had some inflammation on the lining of my uterus and gave me some Doxycycline to take.
* I talked to my RE in Mobile and we are shooting for a January "Timeline Appointment" and a February retrieval and transfer!! I can't wait!! I have to admit though, I am S-C-A-R-E-D of PIO's!! I just don't like to depend on somebody else to give me a shot, but I will do whatever it takes!!
* I have half of my medicine. I only had enough money to cover half right now and when I get my reimbursement check from the insurance company I will order the other half. Last time the meds were $2003.00....this time they are $3900.00! Whew! Thank goodness I get reimbursed! I am very fortunate that I have good insurance!!

Remembering our losses

Good Morning! It's been a while since my last post. Nothing has been happening lately to really write about. We did have an exciting weekend last weekend. My BIL and SIL(the ones that sent us the money for our last fertility treatments) came down to visit. We finally got to meet their little girl, Dakota. She is just a doll. She turned 1 last Sunday, so we got to celebrate her 1st birthday. It was wonderful!! I can't believe a whole year went by before we got to meet her. I miss them so much! I wish they lived closer, but they are military so they don't have much say in where they are stationed.

Today has been an emotional one for me. Today I'm remembering the 3 babies that we have lost over the past year. As you know, we will start the IVF process in January and I hope I don't have to add another loss to the list. I'm just not sure that I could handle that. I'm hoping and praying that IVF is just what we need and will work the first time.  I'm also missing my mom like crazy today. Yesterday was my 29th birthday and I wish she could have been here to celebrate with me. She wanted more than anything for me to have a baby. It breaks my heart that my children will never know her. She is in a much better place, though. I know she is no longer in pain, but that doesn't make it any easier for those of us still here that love & miss her so much. I thought it would start getting easier to deal with, but I think it's getting harder everyday. I have so many different emotions going on that sometimes I don't know what to do. The crazy hormones you have with fertility treatments doesn't help either.

I am praying for all you ladies that are remembering your losses today! I don't know you personally, but you are always on my mind!

IVF.....here we come!!!

My doctor appointment went good yesterday. He seems to think IVF is in our best interest. We will be starting the process sometime in either December or January. As I've mentioned before, my husband is still in college and it would be best to wait until he graduates, since we live 3 hours away from my RE and we'll be having to travel there a lot during this process. This is just fine with me. It will be one less thing to stress about and we won't have to worry about him missing school. I can't wait to get started!! It will be here before we know it!

So, as I mentioned above, our appointment went good, but we didn't get home until almost midnight last night; with that said, let me explain what happened.
My appointment was at 10:00 am and we were out of there by 12:15. We drove to get some lunch and then stopped by the mall. From there we decided to go to Bass Pro Shop, which is on our way home. On the way to Bass Pro, I started feeling weird....tingly and my hands were clamy. I tried to brush it off and not worry about it. We went on to Bass Pro and while we were in there, I felt weak and my stomach was uneasy. We left there and decided to go on home. We get going down the interstate and I have another episode of clamy hands and this time I'm feeling a little lightheaded and my tongue was really dry. Again, I tried to brush it off. Well, it happens again a few minutes later! So, I told my husband that I thought maybe we should find a hospital. We searched the GPS and the nearest one was like 15 minutes off the interstate. We get there and they take me to a room and do blood work, a pregnancy test, and they take my blood pressure while I'm standing, sitting,and laying down and they also check my blood sugar and do an EKG. It ALL checks out fine. He seems to think I was having anxiety attacks. So, needless to say, it was a long ride home. We finally left the hospital around 8:15 or so.

I'm feeling better today, but still not 100%. I'm really not sure about these "attacks". I didn't think I was really anxious about anything yesterday, but I've been reading about it today and it says that they can come on without warning. Well that's certainly what happened yesterday. I've had one episode before, that I think that's probably what was happening. It was labor day weekend 2009 and some friends and I went to Savannah,GA for a day trip and I had an attack. I haven't thought much about having another one since then, but now I'm afraid to have another one. It is a really scarey feeling!! Does anyone else have these?

Back to Mobile we go......tomorrow

Hey hey! Wow, it's been a while since my last post. Tomorrow we go back to Mobile to discuss our options. I am so torn about what treatment I want to do next. Do I want to try injectables again or go straight to IVF?? I have no idea. I just want to do whatever will work, but isn't that the case with all of us!? I've only done 1 injectable cycle, so probably we will do another one or two and if they don't work then maybe go for IVF. It just makes me crazy that there are no guarantees with any treatment. I will update as soon as we get back home.
I have a couple prayer requests......
First, my aunt Janice(my dads sister) she lives in Vidalia Ga. She was diagnosed with a malignant tumor in her pancreas in April of this year. She underwent treatment for about 8 weeks in hopes that it would shrink enough to be removed. She went in to the hospital in Savannah on Sept 3 to have the tumor and her gallbladder removed. They removed her gallbladder but couldn't remove the tumor. It has "sprouted fingers" and has grown into a main artery and some veins. But the good news is, they did a biopsy of the tumor and there are no cancerous cells left!! Hopefully it will stay that way since it can't come out. She is still in the hospital, unfortunately, it hasn't gone as smooth as we hoped. She has rods in her neck(she was in a car accident a couple of years ago) and when they put the tube in her throat they irritated it and now her throat is swollen. She had to be put on a ventilator due to the swelling. She had surgery this morning to remove the vent and it was a success! Praise The Lord! Hopefully she can now recover from her surgery and come home in a few days.

BETA RESULTS

Beta results.........BFN!! So I guess my period decided to start early......I guess it was the medicine?? Who knows! I had a 23 day cycle.  I'm just glad that I didn't miscarry again. It still sucks!! This is my first medicated cycle that I didn't get pregnant. Oh well!! I have an appointment with my RE on September 16 and we will discuss IVF! If you all have any advice to give me I would greatly appreciate it!! Thank you! Hope you all have a great rest of the day!!

Bleeding! Ugh!

Well, I haven't posted in a while. I woke up this morning bleeding. I'm really not sure what to think right now. I called my RE and she said if I wanted to have a beta today I could. Today is CD 24 and I was originally scheduled to have a beta on Monday the 30th.  I went a few minutes ago and I should know the results in a couple of hours. Hopefully it's just implantation bleeding, but if not then I guess this cycle is a bust. :( I will update as soon as I get the results.

Trigger shot!!!

Okay! So here's the low down on what has happened since Friday. I went to my last monitoring appointment!! My RE from Mobile called me about 4:00 Friday afternoon and said we were ready to trigger!!! WOO-HOO!!!! She said anytime Friday would be good! I triggered about 8pm or so. Now we just play the waiting game. I will have b/w on 8/30 to see if we were successful!

Growing some Follicles!!!

Well.....I've been going to monitoring appointments everyday this week and so far so good!! The u/s is no biggie, but the drawing of the blood is a different story! Today I told them they were gonna have to get it from the top of my hand because my poor arms are bruised. It wasn't that bad, just a little pinch. I'd rather it be a pinch than them go through a bruised place.

Ready...Set...INJECT!!

Well, nothing much has been happening lately until yesterday. I finally started my cycle on Tuesday!! I was so happy! So, I called my RE in Mobile and told them we would be seeing them on CD3! The appointment went great! I had an u/s, b/w and my husband had to give them a "sample of his lil swimmers"(hehe) as well. Originally we thought he wouldn't be able to go with me(because of school) but it worked out perfect! He had enough time that he could miss a full night of school without going over his 14hr limit.
After having everything done, the doc told us to go to lunch and come back in about an hour and 1/2 and she would go over the results with us. When we got back from lunch, she said everything looked really good and we were ready to start the injections. OH BOY!! I was a little nervous to say the least! She showed me how to mix the meds and then I did the injection......ALL BY MYSELF!! I am so proud!! It didn't even hurt! Whew!

Update on...........well.............EVERYTHING!!

Well let me start off by saying.....HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

Update on little Emma Grace: She went home from the hospital yesterday!! Woo-hoo!! She had Group B Strep infection(I think that's how they said it). She had to be on antibiotics for 14 days and she finished them up yesterday. She is doing much better! Thank goodness! Her parents were SO glad to finally go home! I'm sure they all slept better last night.

Update on Me: My WONDERFUL brother-in-law(not the one that just had the baby, but my husband's oldest brother) decided to send us $2500.00 so that we can start our treatment!!! YAY!!! So, I talked to the nurse in Mobile last Friday and she said for us to go ahead and order the medicine so that we'll have it for when i start my next cycle. Today I'm on CD16.....so we won't really need them for another couple of weeks, but I wanted to get them here and read up on how to do everything.  Originally, we were gonna wait until my husband graduated from college in December but since my brother-in-law wanted to send us the money, we decided to go ahead with the process. Also, when i had my appt in Mobile in June, the nurse wanted my husband to have a SA before we started any treatments and wanted us to do IUI, but he cant have that done until he is in between semesters and I will be in the middle of my cycle by then.......so that's why she said we could go ahead this next cycle. We won't do IUI this time, but if we have to do another month of treatments then we will do IUI. He will have his SA on August 13. But hopefully we won't need another month!! I hope it works the first time(but of course, doesn't everybody?) 

I ordered the meds on Wednesday and they were here Thursday morning!!! I can't wait to get started. Although, I've heard that the Menopur burns. If anyone has suggestions on this medicine PLEASE tell me....I'm open to hear anything you have to say!! Thank you!!

                

Prayers for little Emma Grace

Yesterday my brother-in-law & sister-in-law had a precious little girl, Emma Grace. She weighed 6lbs 3oz. When she was born she had a fever of 102.2 and a couple of hours later her oxygen levels started dropping. They gave her oxygen for about 10 hours and took her off this morning. She is now breathing 100%  on her own without oxygen and her fever is gone. Thank you Lord! But, she has an infection and will stay in the hospital for atleast 10 days and she's on 2 different antibiotics. They don't know for sure what kind of infection she has, but they should know in a couple of days(they are growing cultures).  Please keep sweet little Emma in your prayers.

I hope you all have a SAFE and HAPPY 4th!!

A day of silence for Cohen

June 7, 2010-June 18, 2010

What: Moment of silence for Cohen

When: Thursday July 1st from midnight to 11:59pm

How: bloggers participating will post the Cohen banner or simply post Cohen's name in large letters on their blog.

Why: July 1st Megan and Brent will be holding Cohen's memorial service. The moment of silence is an opportunity for Megan's blog community to stand behind her and support her on this difficult day. Linking up will give Megan a chance to the support at a glance. 

Participating bloggers can Link Up on July 1st at  Send love to Cohen

Doc appt update!

Well, I went to my doc appt last wednesday and they confirmed i have PCOS(polycystic ovarian syndrome).....boo! The next step will be to start Menopur/Ovidrel injections twice daily and daily ultrasounds after day 5 of injections.......trigger shot(if everything looks good) then IUI. Not exactly what I was hoping to hear, but if that's what I have to do then so be it! Although, it's fairly expensive, so we're gonna try to wait unitl my husband graduates from college(which is only 6 months away) and start then start the process. This way we will have more time to devote to it and not be stressed with his school. In the mean time, I'm gonna try to lose a few pounds and try not worry about it. I know in God's time we will have the family that we've always wanted! If any of you have advice to give me it would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you!

Happy Friday!!

Woo-hoo!! I'm so glad it's Friday!! I am also getting anxious about my appointment in Mobile next Wednesday! I have a whole page of questions for him(poor guy.....he's probably gonna think I 'm nuts) :) Oh well.....that's what he's there for, right? I have a pretty good weekend planned! Tonight I will be babysitting a little cutie named Aubrie(I love that kid) and tomorrow I will be doing a little shopping with a great friend! So excited to be spending some time with her! As well as spending some time with my hubby! I will be sure to update after my doctor appointment. I hope you all have a safe and blessed weekend!!

Just Getting Started

Well, I'm not really sure about how this blog thing works but I'm gonna give a try. I have been following a few infertility blogs over the past few months and they have me interested in sharing my story as well. So, this is how it goes.........I have always known that I wanted children one day, so in May 2009 we got serious. We've been married since 2001 and have never "not tried" to have kids. I think 8 years is long enough, now we need to seek professional help. First, we find out that i don't ovulate on my own.....simple enough! I was given clomid at the end of May and it didn't work, so Dr P. upped my dose.....bingo!!! We find out we are pregnant!! Well.....my levels aren't doubling like they should and we miscarry. We try clomid 2 more times and i don't ovulate either time. Dr. P. decides to try a different medicine....Femara. We did Femara in November and it works!! We are pregnant again.....only to miscarry again!! Ugh! This is so frustrating! So I decide I need a break! We want to wait a couple of cycles and give it another shot. I have my first cycle in March, since my d&c in January, and we want to wait 1 more cycle......well aunt flo never showed! I took a preganancy test just to make sure before we induce a cycle, but there's no way I'm preggo because I don't ovulate on my own, right? Wrong!! It was positive!! We are ecstatic!! This is "The one" since my body did it all by itself. Wrong again!! Another miscarriage!! OMG!! What in the world is going on?!?! We will find out in June, I hope! Dr P. set me up with a specialist in Mobile, AL to see what if they can figure out why we are having recurrent miscarriages. Hopefully we will have some answers soon!!